Yell's AGM on 26 July features an interesting agenda point. The company will ask its shareholders if it's alright to rename and rebrand itself under the name 'Hibu'. The shareholders will probably vote in favour; Yell's latest annual report was once again a disappointing read and sent its share price to previously unknown depths (you can now buy a share in the company for just 2.29p).

By renaming itself the company hopes to become a key player in the digital market. Yell feels there's no way the Yell brand can compete with the likes of Google and eBay, and so it has paid good money to a marketing agency to invent a name that's short, easy to pronounce and sounds edgy and innovative. (It's worth noting the Yellow Pages won't be renamed. Printing millions of unsolicited directories isn't Hip & Trendy and would only damage the Hibu brand.)

Personally, I don't think there's much wrong with the Yell brand. Sure, things can't get much worse for the company and people view Yell as one of the losers of the so-called internet revolution. Nevertheless, it's also a brand with history. Everybody knows the name 'Yell' and recognises the 'walking fingers' logo. For Yell that might not be a very pleasant thought right now, but to just change your name and branding when the going gets tough seems somewhat thoughtless. Plus, Yell has only just started work on its eMarketplace strategy (aimed at getting a foothold in the market for all things digital). Yell may have more credit then its marketing department realises - and it might underestimate how long it takes to build a brand.

Connecting at the heart of the Hibu logo

It wouldn't surprise me if Hibu becomes the object of endless ridicule. The public doesn't necessarily view a new name and logo in the way marketeers intend (Consignia springs to mind). It doesn't help, then, that Yell is unable to communicate its thinking behind Hibu. Here's the official explanation for the change:

"When people connect, communities thrive, and we are a vital connection in an ever changing world. So, we are changing too […] and will become hibu."

I love fallacies. I mean , just look at it…

• Argument 1 : When people connect, communities thrive
• Argument 2 : We are a vital connection in an ever changing world
• Conclusion : We are changing too and will become hibu

As another example of gobbledegook, see if you can decipher this blab about the Hibu logo (from the same press release):

"In addition to being consumer oriented and a symbol in its own right, we wanted our identity to tell a story. We have developed a new positioning for the organisation – 'connecting communities'. Communities are built on the connections people make and people are connected at the heart of the hibu logo. The identity utilises typography with soft shouldered edges like the human body and coloured dots represent the people behind the identity, diversity, connections and conversation. By using bold lower case typography with soft edges we project a human and approachable company."

I'm not sure if I want Hibu to be in the centre of my community. What a load of crap.

High-Boo or High-Bue?

In case you're wondering, Hibu is pronounced High-Boo and Yell wants us to write Hibu without the capital - even when it's the first word in a sentence. Odd capitalisation (ReAD Group, eBay, iThingies) seems to be an obsession for marketeers nowadays - they see it as being innovative. If you're a language purist or reluctant to adopt spelling rules invented by marketeers you may just write Hibu as you would any other proper noun.

Equally intriguing is the umlaut in the logo. Is it entirely co-incidental that there are two people (represented by coloured dots, remember?) happily connecting above the letter 'u'? It seems Yell has been struggling with that one as well; if you have a look at the About page on the Hibu website you'll notice that 'Hibu' is consistently written with an umlaut [This has now been 'corrected' on the Hibu website - JB]. My guess is this was how the marketing folk initially wanted us to write the word (and then they realised nobody would have a clue how to pronounce Hibü but forgot to update the web page).

An interesting article in today's The Globe and Mail. The latest edition of the Canadian Yellow Pages has a notice on the cover telling people how they can cancel the delivery of the book. The notice isn't quite as dramatic as the ones you find on cigarette packets nowadays but the idea is essentially the same. The Yellow Pages has started telling people it's an environmental hazard.

The Canadian opt-out scheme isn't a new invention; it has been around since 2009. However, as is the case in the UK, the Yellow Pages tried hard to keep quiet about the existence of the opt-out. Such strategies can only delay the inevitable. Thanks to campaigners such as Aimee Davison of Yellow Pages Mountain (see video) and David Sabine the Canadian Yellow Pages could no longer get away with running a dummy opt-out service. The Yellow Pages is now not only advertising its opt-out scheme, they're also paying for the recycling of the books.

Canadians can opt out online or by phoning 1-800-268-5637. If you're in the UK you can cancel the Yellow Pages, BT Phone Book and/or Thomson Local directory via Junk Buster.

Yellow Pages publishers in the States are not yet ready to accept that there's a demand for a robust opt-out scheme for unsolicited directories. They've filed an appeal against Monday's ruling by a federal judge that there's nothing unconstitutional about opt-out schemes for Yellow Pages directories, the Seattle Times reports. With interesting comments!

October last year Seattle City Council passed Ordinance 123427, better known as the Yellow Pages Ordinance. It took a while to implement the law, but Seattleites now have a proper opt-out scheme for the six(!) Yellow Pages directories published in the city. Any of these books can be cancelled via Catalog Choice - an already existing opt-out service for getting rid of unwanted catalogues.

An interesting aspect of the Ordinance is that it requires publishers distributing more than four tonnes worth of directories to get a distribution licence from the City of Seattle. This allows the scheme to be enforced; publishers ignoring opt-out requests may face fines or even loose their licence. And, it means the polluter pays; the income generated by the licence scheme will pay for administering the opt-out scheme and disposing of directories. No longer do have tax payers have to foot the bill for recycling tonnes of unwanted directories.

A perfectly normal state of affairs, if you ask me. Yet, being the first city in the United States to introduce an opt-out scheme for paper directories Seattle faced fierce opposition from the Yellow Pages lobby. Shortly after the city passed the Ordinance the Local Search Association - previously known as the Yellow Pages Association - filed a law suit to get an injunction from the federal court. The industry lobby group felt the opt-out scheme in general, and the requirement to obtain a distribution licence in particular, violated publishers' right to free speech. And, the industry argued, Seattle's scheme was unnecessary because the industry was about to launch a nationwide opt-out scheme.

Seattle was not impressed. The opt-out service the industry launches in February, Yellow Pages Opt-Out, is only voluntary, Councillor O'Brien told the Seattle Times last week. "Ours is mandatory", he added, "and we enforce it." Music to my ears, and hopefully the Data Publishers Association in the UK will take note. On this side of the Big Pond opting out of receiving the Yellow Pages, Thomson Local and/or BT Phone Book is still largely ineffective. More often than not opt out requests are simply ignored by the industry. The example of Seattle shows this may well backfire. The Data Publishers Association has nothing to show for when it comes to respecting people's wishes…

As for that bizarre 'freedom of speech' argument ('bizarre' from a European perspective), the verdict on the law suit was delivered on Monday, and the court dismissed the argument in no uncertain terms. "Common sense […] dictates that the Yellow Pages directories should not receive the highest level of protection afforded by the First Amendment", the judge ruled. And after rejecting the industry's main argument he went on to criticise the industry's failure to reduce waste and respect people's right to privacy:

"Here, any First Amendment impact on the public, to the extent there is such an impact at all, would be limited because the Ordinance will not prevent delivery to any City residents who wish to receive yellow pages directories. Further, the Ordinance was enacted in large measure after considerable public testimony that plaintiffs' opt-out system was ineffective and that unwanted deliveries by plaintiffs violated City residents' right to privacy and generated large amounts of waste."

Hopefully, more cities in the States will follow Seattle's lead. Seattle wisely set up the scheme in co-operation with Catalog Choice; not only is there a blueprint for other cities; the infrastructure has also already been set up.

As for the UK, I think it's unavoidable that the directory industry will be forced to respect people's wishes not to receive unsolicited books. The only question is whether we will have a central opt-out or opt-in scheme.

Children all over the UK are weeping inconsolably after Yell announced Kirk, it's corporate propaganda tool, has died. Yell has confirmed the woodland minibeast will not be replaced.

According to Yell's press release Kirk peacefully passed away while the company re-aligned its corporate responsibility programme with its changing business requirements. However, there are accusations Kirk died because the sustainably managed tree plantation in which he lived didn't have enough ecologic value for any woodland minibeast to survive. Other experts believe Kirk's diet, which consisted of unwanted Yellow Pages directories, has contributed to his early death.

Depression

It's believed Yell's former Environment and Sustainability Manager, Adam Billiald BSc MSc, left the company earlier this month because a proposal to re-house Kirk in a forest was rejected. A former colleague told us Mr Billiald BSc MSc could no longer bear Kirk was becoming increasingly depressed:

"Mr Billiald BSc MSc felt he had failed to give Kirk a stimulating environment. Woodland minibeasts often find it difficult to adapt to living in a monoculture tree plantation, and this was certainly the case with Kirk. At first Mr Billiald BSc MSc saw this as merely a potential PR disaster; at times Kirk looked so miserable that we had to cancel visits to schools. However, as Kirk's depression got worse Mr Billiald BSc MSc feared he might take his own life.

"A suggestion by Mr Billiald BSc MSc to move Kirk to a proper forest was rejected by the Board. 'Tree plantations are the future', they said. The same day Mr Billiald BSc MSc handed in his notice. I think, in his own way, he felt like a father for Kirk."

Oak leafs and butterflies

Other theories about Kirk's death are more critical of Mr Billiald BSc MSc. These theories are mostly based on two written statements made by Kirk, both of which appeared on colouring activities. On the first Kirk hinted that oak leaves were his favourite food, on the second that woodlands are very important for trees and animals. The second colouring activity shows a picture of a butterfly, to which Kirk refers as my friend.

Critics argue the statements might not be as innocent as they seem. A campaigner for The Woodland Minibeast Protection Society, whose identity we cannot reveal, sees them as irrefutable evidence that Yell has contributed to Kirk's death:

"As for Kirk's statement about oak trees; it's a well-known fact that there are no such trees on Yell's tree plantations. Growing oak trees was considered unsustainable. Economically unsustainable, that is.

"When Kirk started talking about woodlands and butterflies it became clear that Kirk was becoming increasingly delusional. I mean, he had never seen a woodland or butterfly. He lived in a tree plantation; an environment where there wasn't any nature. Yell should have intervened, but sadly Kirk's manager, Mr Billiald BSc MSc, was too busy writing Governance and Responsibility reports."

Cry for help

Another theory is that Kirk didn't suffer a mental breakdown at all and had instead discovered there are such things as oak leafs, woodlands and butterflies. This theory might explain why Mr Billiald BSc MSc decided to clip Kirk's tongue after he started uttering the words 'opt out' in 2008. A member of the Official Kirk the Woodland Minibeast Facebook Fan Club Like Page said she sees Kirk's statements as a cry for help:

"From his conversations with children Kirk might have learned that many of them don't take any interest in the Yellow Pages directory, and that most children were of the opinion that encouraging people to opt out would be much better for the environment than just recycling books. Kirk was a soft character, and I think he may have agreed with what children told him.

"Of course this was a mistake. His job was to prevent children from developing negative perceptions about the Yellow Pages. Headmasters around the country invited him to teach children that creating lots of unwanted waste is perfectly alright, as long as you recycle all the rubbish afterwards. The tragedy is that Kirk increasingly doubted he was doing the right thing. After his tongue was cut he tried to express his views via carefully crafted statements on colouring activities. It was a cry for help really."

Diet

Other experts believe Kirk died simply because his diet consisted of unwanted Yellow Pages directories. As one expert explained:

"Characters such as Kirk can live for a very long time. Ronald McDonald is nearly 50, and he lives of a diet I wouldn't recommend to anyone. That Kirk died before he reached his teens shows just how bad Yellow Pages directories are for you. They should be printing warning messages on them."